A couple of weeks ago I tweeted this https://twitter.com/shinybluedress/status/1056252070393712644?s=
and then I came off social media & also retreated from everyone & everything apart from turning up for work. Some might consider my tweet to be “oversharing” or “needy” but the problem with me (both in real life and on social media)is that I have ‘smiling depression’.
I wear a confident and happy front to hide how I really feel & so the depression is tricky to spot. I have a good life on the surface and everything about my life seems normal.
So for a while now Ive felt uncomfortable about presenting myself on social media as strong and together when in reality I’m a wreck and don’t know how to keep going. I was (and still am) in a dark place & I simply had to come clean and be honest about it. . .
I’m not at liberty to disclose what I’m dealing with but suffice to say it’s a situation that’s been going on for 2.5years and any hope of it improving is fading fast. The grief of it is exhausting and I cry myself to sleep most nights.
Anyway, this blog post is primarily to explain how completely overwhelmed I am by the amount of thoughtful supportive encouraging tweets, private messages, texts and voicemail messages I’ve received and I just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone for this. The amount of notifications I got when I logged back in was akin to coming home after 2 weeks holiday and trying to push open the front door over a mountain of post (a common experience pre internet days!).
Someone even rang my work place to say they were worried about me – and as a result, senior management reached out to me in support. I also got a card in the post from a charity that I’m a member of.
In my dark place I gave no thought about the amount of concern my tweet would cause and I’m really sorry about that. Many of you are coping with situations far worse than mine and yet you still reached out with your support and I’m truly humbled by this. Your words give me strength to keep going.
THANK YOU ❤️